Hey, Man. You Might Not Want To Put That In Your Mouth.


Daniel is funny

Think about it for a second, bud. I know that, in the heated intensity of your popcorn devouring, you felt a tiny piece, a tiny, miniscule fraction of a cooked kernel, fall. You felt it flee from your fingertips, spinning through the air and hitting the front of your shirt. It tumbled away, and at that point, it was lost in space… until now. A few seconds later, there it sits on the couch cushion, waiting to be consumed.

You’re pretty sure that all of that happened, but are you sure enough?

Are you positive that that’s part of a formerly whole popcorn kernel? Because, really, until you put it in your mouth, you don’t know. It looks golden and yellowish, but so do cereal crumbs and petrified boogers. Are you going to chance eat a petrified booger? It’s so small that your taste buds probably wouldn’t be able to…

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